Vanilla
by Zelavril
Summary: Determined to prove a point to Maria, Cliff tries his hand at cookery, and ends up creating one of the most bizarre and deadly puddings of all time. Has Cliff finally become the Ultimate Master Chef, or will something more peculiar happen? Shonenai F x C


**Disclaimers:** I do not own Star Ocean Till the End of Time- Square Enix does. I do not own "Vanilla" either, because that belongs to Gackt. However, I do own this very random one-shot, so…beware!

**Plot Theosis:** (Uh… there's a plot? XD) Determined to prove a point to Maria, Cliff tries his hand at cookery, and ends up creating one of the most bizarre and deadly puddings of all time. But just what kinds of equally bizarre and deadly events will follow after this? Has Cliff finally become the Ultimate Master Chef, or will something even more peculiar happen?

**Extra Notes:** A little present for a certain other fan of this pairing. Because he is amazing like that.

**Pairing:** ? If you know me, you'll know what pairing I love most…

**Warnings: **Shonen-ai (boy-love), laces of my perverted humour and lovable bashing of a certain "treacle pudding": D seriously though, if you don't like any of these, then you know how to use the "Back" button, don't you?

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Cliff stood there, perplexed and deep in thought; _just what the hell is this?_

There his new invention was, just there, looking blatantly innocent and deceiving. It looked as though butter would melt in it mouth if it ever had one, what, with its' tiny cream droplets sliding seductively from its body, smiling at him and just begging to be placed on his tongue.

It didn't look anything special to the others, as they watched Cliff with a sort of tired anticipation. Maria had told him many a time that he simply could not cook, and this had also been proven many a time, with failure after failure, and burnt toast after burnt toast, and after every slop and spit of vile and vulgar curries, even. So the fact she had told him this just made the bumbling Klausian even more determined to prove her _wrong_. As whenever Cliff pranced around with his Earth-French chef hat placed firmly on his head, dancing through his invention line, the chorus of Nel and Sophia was usually _"Here we go again!"_ But that sort of harmony was nowhere to be found here today, as Cliff seemed to pounce and glamour at his godly (yet strangely simple) creation.

It was all very new, and very bizarre for his team-mates.

"What's up with Cliff?" Fayt whispered to Maria across the table, his ingenuous curiosity gaining the better of him.

"Well." Maria sniggered. "Childish and dim as he is, he's trying to prove me wrong when I said he can't cook." She lay back into her chair, folding her arms.

Cliff scratched his head slowly in the distance. Still smiling.

Mirage looked up, adding more to the conversation "You see, Fayt. Cliff's quite an artistic and creative soul….so… I think when Maria does this to him, he gets like this."

Maria stifled roars of laughter as Cliff bounced from heels to toes, his marine eyes prizing his creation, and slapped the table with her fist "I can't believe you've just said that!" She chuckled, burying her head into the table.

"So…what?" Fayt ignored her, continuing, "He's in a creative slump?"

Smiling, Mirage nodded. "Yeah. You could say that…"

Fayt raised his eyebrows in disbelief, his tiny nose crumpling at the idea that these two would even do such things to the poor Klausian.

"Either way," Adray whined arrogantly, suddenly appearing from behind them. "I'm not happy that he's in there cooking, because I've still got my Super Potions in there! I was going to use them for Clair, you see, because she really needs a husband…"

At that point, everyone stopped listening to Adray.

Fayt looked over towards him sympathetically as Cliff eyed up the…_thing…_ proudly, a large grin spilling energetically across his face as crystal from the…_whatever it was…_and fell with a celestial manner onto the plate. Crystal pearls… with…seductive movements… and some sort of slippery, scandalous procedure about them. His stomach seemed to rumble as he slowly walked over to Cliff.

"Bah. It's the fool's funeral." Albel commented slyly, as everyone left the room, remarking how they didn't want to have food poisoning this week. Roger, on the other hand, waddled in from the kitchen and sat at the table, slurping away at a glass of juice through a straw- though his nose. When Fayt turned and raised his eyebrows at him, the raccoon repeated what Albel said, and Fayt wondered whether or not Roger really understood what the older Elicoorian had meant.

But Cliff didn't really notice anything until that little shadow overshadowed the beauty of his work. The shadow raised its eyebrows, wondering whether or not his eyes were playing tricks on him. Sliding his glasses on his nose, Fayt peered around Cliff's shoulder; and was still strangely confused as to _what _it was. _Ice cream, maybe? Nah it can't be…_ Fayt then leaned curiously over Cliff's shoulder, his slender fingers brushing on Cliff's shoulders…

"_**Kimi wa seijitsu na moralist**  
Kirei na _**yubi**_ de boku o __**nazoru  
Boku wa junsui na terrorist**  
Kimi no omou ga mama ni kakumei ga okiru"_

_-__**You're an honest moralist**  
You trace me with your __**pretty fingers**__.  
__**I'm a genuine terrorist**  
The way you're thinking is bound to stir a revolution…-_

"Cliff? Just what _is_ that?" Fayt asked tentatively. His fine fingers fidgeted away in front of him as Cliff began to turn towards him, his big gushing eyes glistening, his face swollen with pride.

"This?" Cliff winked excitedly, "That, Fayt, is my newest creation!"

"Hmm…" Fayt mused, unsure.

Cliff turned his eyes away from Fayt, focusing all his energy on his "creation". Fayt was sure he recognised…_it_… but he wasn't so sure. Something from Earth, he remembered that little.

Fayt walked from behind Cliff to in front, his little marble green eyes rolling from Cliff to the _thing_, analysing the environment and wondering just why the creation had come into place. The freezer- in the Elicoorian variant, of course- was nothing but a mould of cooled wood that had been – recklessly – forced open by the hapless Klausian, and pools of flooding, spilt milk dripped slowly and soothingly down the beautiful hem of the table cloth, spoiling it completely.

Moments later, Cliff took a break from praising his artwork. The sun was just peeping through the windows, the photons dribbling lustrously and bouncing, reflecting up and onto the walls. Each ray of golden bliss trickled a surge of warmth in the Klausian, as if the gateways to heaven were smiling upon something special, something heavenly. But there was nothing special about the room, really…only particles of dusk and …_Fayt standing there, wordlessly, his beau- really well combed hair fluttering everywhere- blowing everywhere, rather… the way those compelling-rather well gleamed eyes were flickering lightly is of another world- rather, strange…damn it!_

The air was cold and bitter, the sounds that sung were only timid sounds- if you counted the slurping sounds of juice through Roger's nose "timid"- and every time Cliff drummed his fingers against the table, a ghostly shiver crept up his spine, as though a wisp of wind rode up and through his body, and then escaped weakly to the floor.

Cliff then spared a quick look to his _handiwork_, droplets still slipping from its velvet surface, melting away in the brisk heat. Everything and everything about it seemed perfect; no matter how plain it looked, the sheer tender pearls always won over him; the mechanics behind this dessert this time round were just too luring to deny, and everything about it… was _sheer perfection._ Anyone who had been brave enough to stay would have looked upon it and cried of jealousy. Cliff had gone from being the brute slob in the corner from being the ultimate master chef; something that didn't happen every year.

One problem.

_Damn!_ Cliff thought, cursing. "Uhh, Fayt? You wanna try this? I don't have a name for it yet."

"W-what?!" Fayt stammered, shocked.

"Whaddya mean "what"? You mean you don't want to try it?" Cliff turned away from the Earthling, feigning mock-distain.

Fayt didn't answer for a moment. Of course he was a little wary of trying it! What, a man who made bad curries and bit into meat before roasting it was going to make food that was safe to eat? Fayt shuddered at the last time his stomach (and brain) had suffered at Cliff's salishmi; nobody could move afterwards for weeks!

"…What's in it?" Fayt worded carefully. He noticed how a small vial rolled on the side of the table, but thought nothing of it.

"_Treacle pudding!_ No rage inclu- Owww!"

"Seriously!" Fayt muttered, glaring down at the blond. Although Fayt did think that it would be a funny idea to make Albel Nox a pudding…it would be quite a job getting him a pot without losing your head.

"Fine, fine!" Cliff gasped, wincing in pain. "Milk, cream…erm…I put a few of those…you know…then cooled it."

Fayt folded his arms, and the volcanic light that seeped through the window seemed to make his back _glow_. He raised his eyebrows curiously, and leaned against the desk, his defined chest appearing before Cliff. Cliff, bypassing his original thoughts, pulled a small (broken, even) vial. Small globules of liquid still skimmed the edges.

"I put some of this stuff in, I dunno what it is, but hey; what harm can it do?" Cliff murmured.

The vial had no label on it.

"What do you mean, "what harm can it do?"!" Fayt boomed.

Silence.

"Wh-You expect me to try it when you don't know what one of the ingredients is!"

Silence again.

Cliff looked crestfallen.

"Jeez!" Fayt glared towards the floor silently, the light bending around his hair and into Cliff's eyes. He saw the carefully ground seeds powder over the floor as he kicked against the earth with his foot, breaking into the sky, their masses breaking each notion and disobeying each law of gravity as they seemed to float in the air.

_Then came the smell._

Something alluring there was that loved Cliff's creation, that made it a sin for Fayt not to glare upon it with his eyes of sorcery, and not dwell upon it's existence so that reality could dome pitifully over the denial, but rather prove that there was no reason as to why the crystals were other than they _were_. **(Zel: I'll explain this!)**. Its smell was punishing when there was no sight to connect it with. Fayt battled with the urge to look up again; and witlessly lost. He found himself glaring into its creamy crystals again within seconds.

Cliff noticed this and grinned. "You wanna try it, don't you?"

"Hmm- What?" Fayt murmured drearily, entranced.

Cliff elfishly picked up a spoon, dipped it into the…_whatever it was…_ and flew the spoon close to Fayt's soft lips. But at that moment, they weren't alone. Meanwhile, Sophia, who had been walking past out of boredom, saw the scene out of the corner of her eye, and seeing Fayt's predominant blush, she giggled giddily to herself. Moments later, she tried leading Roger out of the room, the straw stuck up his nose. She accidently knocked the juice onto the floor, its _photon white_ substance dripping away…

"Wadd'ya do that for!" Roger whinged loudly.

"C'mon Roger!" She chimed brightly, tugging at his little arm like a ragdoll. "Let's play with Peppita!"

"I wanna drink my drink!" He roared, kicking away at the ground, crying as his juice slithered away through the cracks of the ground…

The spoon was then suddenly plopped into Fayt's mouth.

…And that was when Fayt's world began to melt away. The taste was exquisite, a melancholy mix of everything that should be, and everything that shouldn't; he felt his heart pump the blood in his veins faster and harder. The flush on his face failed to drain. His tongue seemed to dance around in his mouth lustfully, each sensation tingling, the sweet elixir oozing down his throat. The silver of the spoon was taunting; dull, lacklustre, painful to his teeth as Cliff clumsily knocked the spoon against them. Whatever distractions there were in the background seemed to blur from Fayt's vision, as his body numbed by the sheer ecstasy of _its_ taste, almost rendering him unconscious and making him slip away into a delicious, gold laced heaven; silky, like blooming blossoms feathering towards the ground…

"_Ikutsu asa o mukaereba,  
Ah, yoru wa owaru no darou ka?  
Sora ni chiribamerareta,  
Ah, __**shiroi**__ hana ni __**kakomarete**__ yuku…"  
_

_-How many mornings must I face,  
Ah, until this night ends?  
I am surrounded,  
Ah, by white flowers laid in the sky…-_

Well, all distractions except the one, as Cliff withdrew the spoon from his mouth.

_His eyes!_ Fayt dreamed hazily. Fayts' pea green eyes shimmered quietly at the absent-minded Klausian, at his entire body without blinking. Fayt's entire body suddenly seemed drawn to _those flexing muscles, those warm, caring arms, those berry crush lips…w-what! What's going on!_ In no control whatsoever of his actions, Fayt drew closer to Cliff.

"So?" Cliff asked confidently. "What'cha think?"

Cliff didn't need an answer. When he felt those sweet lips brushing against his own, words were practically irrelevant.

The heat created from the small friction was immense; Cliffs' mind was flooding and cycling with confusion all at the same time, his whirlpool of thoughts twisting through each arc in his brain, ripples mystifying himself further as Fayt's smooth, meandering arm weaving under his. His touch seemed gentle and shy as his other hand found Cliff's chest, his warm touch tingling through Cliff's body and elevating it almost completely.

Cliff only wondered "why?" for a moment; his left hand soon found its way to his pocket, and felt the brown vial; _Adray's Super Potion_, Cliff mused.

Simplicity over simplicity.

_Maybe some mistakes are miracles, after all._

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**Zels' Notes: **Crappy ending syndrome! I just really didn't know how to finish this…my mind when "zip!" then caved in XD So…what made me think of this? Well. You know about the Tears of Aphrodite elixirs you can get from compounding? Well, one day me and my sister had Adray, Fayt and Cliff two different lines; Adray and Fayt doing Compounding and Cliff doing Cooking (for a laugh!). When Adray and Fayt made a few Tears of Aphrodite, my sister said this:

"Wouldn't it be fun if Fayt had put in some of that into Cliff's food?"

I caught onto her hints of yaoi-ness, so I replied: "But they have a factor of "Heal 20HP" and "Emotion -1"!" I stressed the "minus" part.

Then she said: "But what if it worked, as in it made people fall in love!"

…Hence why I have came up with this ridiculous conundrum! (although surely she'd have thought of Adray x Fayt- -shudders!)

The line I'm going to explain: This has been largely based on the first four lines of a poem called "Mending Wall" by Robert Frost ("Something there is…even two can cast abreast"). I added it in for stylistic kicks, as part of my revision techniques and because I noticed my writing was going simple. The second and third reasons being the most predominant reasons XD

I had a French hat in the old Café that I worked in about 3 months ago. I used it to skit at my Dad. And since my Dad is quite a bit like Cliff sometimes… it was just too good an opportunity for me not to include!

"Vanilla" is a pervy Japanese song by Gackt which I listen to way too much! The lyrics in this fanfiction belong to him :)

Zel xx


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